Prayers for Michael

[American X]

My deepest condolences, xu82. My family will pray for your family.

[bourbonman]

May he be at peace and his family find a peace to have been blessed to know him. Prayers sent.

[Mel Cooley XU'81]

Heartbroken for your loss.

Prayers to the Holy Family for Michael, you, and your family.

Peace.

[xu82]

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and prayers. Obviously, this has been the most difficult period in my life. If we had gotten word in the middle of the night years ago that Michael had died, I would have been just as devastated, but less shocked. He has thrived in the past few years. This just goes to show the evil nature of addiction. Thinking you are doing better is a trap.

I started this both to help me grieve and to make a couple of major points. The first point is we need to learn to be open and talk about addiction. It’s everywhere! It is all around us, but people don’t like to talk about it. They feel a sense of shame, and want to sweep it under the rug so they don’t have to face the “stigma”. I can’t count the number of people who have reached out and said “thank you for being open about it”. We are NOT ashamed, in fact we are proud of how many families we have helped! Because we are open, we’ve had MANY families we barely know come to us seeking advice, or just someone to talk to who would not judge them. If it helps ONE person, it is worth it.

Which leads to the second point I want to share. DO NOT JUDGE! You have NO idea what these individuals and families have been dealing with. We have gotten a flood of calls and messages from people who said “you know what, I’m hooked on coke and painkillers”. Or “I’ve been in recovery for 7 years, but I still struggle every day”. But these people only speak of it privately. There’s usually a story behind it. One guy is gay and single and lonely because everywhere he goes people are couples. His parents no longer approve of him. One young lady has never met her mother, who was raped when she was 12 by her brother’s 15 year old friend. THAT was how she was conceived. Her mother will promise to meet her in person, but has been a no-show countless times. The stories go on and on. Not that that is the only reason people get there, but YOU DON’T KNOW. It’s not an excuse, but it may be an explanation. Our son was abused at a young age in ways we were completely unaware of for many, many years. It was his dark secret that was too much for him to deal with. How we learned this is too painful to share at this point.

So, again, I thank all of you for your support. Michael was a great kid and a great person. I will love him forever! We tried to do a quiet little service in Nashville, but word got out. The funeral home had to bring in additional chairs four times, until they actually ran out of space and it was SRO with people out in other rooms. At the luncheon that followed the luncheon room overflowed and they had to open a ballroom! People loved this kid! You would have too! Michael worked as an admissions counselor at a mental health and addiction facility. My favorite guests were the people who said “I had to be here, he saved my life!” My message to them, and anyone else battling addiction is take care of yourself first. My son died because he tried to take care of everyone else, and forgot to take care of himself.

Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

[vee4xu]

Addictions of any sort are awful. No one should ever judge anyone on anything in life, most of all an addiction. I have seen addiction first hand in my family and among friends. The particulars of them are not relevant, but what is relevant is the very real nature of them and how they overtake one's day to day life.

82, my very deepest condolences to you and your family. I will pray for all of you and the repose of your son's soul. He is now resting comfortably in eternal life, away from the temptations that held onto him during his too short life on earth. You can see from my signature below, what is important in my daily life, and has been for many years. I will keep your situation and those of all other families dealing with the same situation. May your burden be lessened by the faith that an eternal God has compassion of all of us, including and especially, those who are addicted.

God bless!

[xu82]

I got at least one text or phone call from Michael about the Buffalo Bills probably 360 days a year. He had a Buffalo Bills tattoo on his arm. He had a closet full of Bills gear. He had signed Bills jerseys hanging in the condo. He got text alerts anytime there was Bills news that he would immediately pass on to me. He had a Bruce Smith jersey on his casket. He waited 18 years to see them back in the playoffs, but came up just short. I’m watching the Bills/Jags game with my younger son, but it’s just not the same without our phones blowing up.....

[Xupergirl]

Deeply sorry for your loss. It’s amazing seeing so many people on a Xavier basketball forum of all things, coming together to support someone. Praying for you, Michael and your family. Also praying for all those suffering from addiction. It’s one of the hardest things to go through. It makes me feel terrible for arguing and being depressed about our musketeers losing Saturday. But more heartbreaking things are going on right now than losing a basketball game. Again, I’m very sorry and prayers are sent your way.

[Xupergirl]

Love the signature.

[Xupergirl]

Sorry for the 3rd post in a row but I thought I’d mention I go to a small catholic school (St Michael School!) down the ohio river a couple hours away from Cincinnati/Norwood/XU. In the mornings we have morning prayer with the whole school (70 students and staff). We read the Bible, pray the rosary, and each student can give a prayer request for a family member, friend, the world, etc. I will make sure to request prayers for you and your family. Know a whole school of kids are praying for you and your family. God bless.

[Cheesehead]

Just want to add what others have said. No parent should have to go through this and I hope you can find peace at some point. Prayers go out to you and your family.