Tardy Turtle's Offseason and Bail Bonds Thread

[paulxu]

Damn...I should be there for that one.
Although the 3rd B is not "Brew."

[Tardy Turtle]

Are you in a constant drunk state off bourbon, and if so have you heard of Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome?

I consume copious amounts of both bourbon and bacon so petty maladies such as that are of no concern.

Getting back to the important shit, not only does the soap smell and taste fantastic at my new job but the Facilities guy will make a custom nameplate with your alma mater logo on it if you ask.

[Juice]

I consume copious amounts of both bourbon and bacon so petty maladies such as that are of no concern.

Getting back to the important shit, not only does the soap smell and taste fantastic at my new job but the Facilities guy will make a custom nameplate with your alma mater logo on it if you ask.

You might have the best job around

[jaxalum]

I don't know if I'm feeling like I'm in a depressed malaise, as this is the first I've encountered Tardy Turtle's beautiful "life dialogue", or that I'm in a state of perpetual ecstasy, in that I've finally discovered him......(no words to describe) phenomenal? divine? glorious human being/entity.

He strikes me as the type of gentleman that could change his name to the following (listed below), and increase his legend, while if any of us mere mortals were to attempt such a shenanigan, we would have our asses kicked on a daily basis and never see a naked female again without paying for it:
-Cash Buckhorn
-Baron Maddox
-Cruz Stone
-Peace Thackerson
-Saber Blacksteel
-Tristan Renshaw
-Zane Keaton
-Tower Stonetrowsers
-Brick Stonepipe
Yea, you try starting a tab with the name "Saber Blacksteel". Tardy Turtle could, and would end up not paying a cent of what would be an enormous tab.

Keep living the dream good sir!!

[Tardy Turtle]

JAXALUM is a Great American.

[X-ceptional]

Cash Buckhorn

All my future restaurant reservations are going under this name.

[Tardy Turtle]

[GoMuskies]

How many creepy Brony dudes are going to get arrested pleasuring themselves in movie theaters when that comes out?

[Tardy Turtle]

How many creepy Brony dudes are going to get arrested pleasuring themselves in movie theaters when that comes out?

Uh, all of them?

[Tardy Turtle]

Hot mustard is the best McNugget sauce and it's not even close. I will fight all who dissent.