The Problem for Sports Parents: Overspending

[Mel Cooley XU'81]

The Wall Street Journal reports: Large amounts of money can transform parental support into pressure.

Greater parental spending tends to weaken a child's sense of ownership of his athletic career, sometimes destroying his will to succeed, he says. "Kids are being labeled as burnouts when actually they're just angry at having no options in their lives,"

My kids are (just) old enough that I missed out on what I recognized years ago as "The Gear Culture," personal trainers for kids, multi-state travel teams, etc. Another reason it's great to be old.

How's it working for you?

[GoMuskies]

We're about to start overspending on gymnastics for an 8 year old. I read this article today as well, and it certainly gave me some pause, but gymnastics is unfortunately one of those sports where it's almost unavoidable. You either spend and travel, or you tell your kid that she's never even going to have the opportunity to be any good.

[bleedXblue]

It's become an absolute joke. Mommy and Daddy want Johnny and Suzy to play club volleyball or club soccer b/c all of the other kids are doing it. 99% of the kids have no shot at making a career out of it, let alone earn a college scholarship. You drive all over the place spend thousands of dollars and at the end of the day have very little to show for it. You can lump all of the other sports into it as well......wasn't isolating volleyball or soccer.

My advice is just to let it play out. Your kid either has a gift or they don't.

[Juice]

It's become an absolute joke. Mommy and Daddy want Johnny and Suzy to play club volleyball or club soccer b/c all of the other kids are doing it. 99% of the kids have no shot at making a career out of it, let alone earn a college scholarship. You drive all over the place spend thousands of dollars and at the end of the day have very little to show for it. You can lump all of the other sports into it as well......wasn't isolating volleyball or soccer.

My advice is just to let it play out. Your kid either has a gift or they don't.

I agree with a lot of your point but I will say its tough to know if your kid is gifted or just dominating a bunch of scrubs because most of the talent does play on travel teams.

[ammtd34]

You drive all over the place spend thousands of dollars and at the end of the day have very little to show for it. You can lump all of the other sports into it as well......wasn't isolating volleyball or soccer.

Your point is well taken and you are right that there usually isn't much to show for it. I never felt pressured to make a career out soccer. Aside from amateur leagues, Xavier was the end of my career.

There are different ways to go about it, though. From the time I was 14 until I was 18, we were all over the country every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and each Spring weekend. If we were going someplace new or interesting, my parents would take off the Thursday and Friday before the tournament and head out early. This allowed for 3 or 4 mini-vacations per year in places we wouldn't have otherwise seen. For example, we had a tournament in Erie when I was 15. We spent two days in Niagara Falls. We wouldn't have had a reason to go there otherwise. Two extra days in Chicago, Las Vegas, Tampa, DC, Seattle etc... It still allowed for family time without making the travel feel like a burden.

[Juice]

Your point is well taken and you are right that there usually isn't much to show for it. I never felt pressured to make a career out soccer. Aside from amateur leagues, Xavier was the end of my career.

There are different ways to go about it, though. From the time I was 14 until I was 18, we were all over the country every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and each Spring weekend. If we were going someplace new or interesting, my parents would take off the Thursday and Friday before the tournament and head out early. This allowed for 3 or 4 mini-vacations per year in places we wouldn't have otherwise seen. For example, we had a tournament in Erie when I was 15. We spent two days in Niagara Falls. We wouldn't have had a reason to go there otherwise. Two extra days in Chicago, Las Vegas, Tampa, DC, Seattle etc... It still allowed for family time without making the travel feel like a burden.

I played in that Erie tournament. Good tournament but being in Erie sucked.

[Tardy Turtle]

being in Erie sucked.

Try growing up there... you have no idea.

[wkrq59]

I spent 40 -plus years in the toy department--sports--of local and daily newspapers. Almost lost a job when I was told to interview a 6-year-old motocross racer..and refused. The very worst thing about youth sports is that they exist.
I had an 11-year-old African American youngster tell me, "I wish I never tried out for the pee wee football team and made it. Practices --every weekday--were no fun. Games should be fun but for most of us they weren't because the coach thought he's coaching pros. I want to win but I want to have fun, too. " I had both boys and girls tell me the same thing in different sports.
I had a high school junior soccer player tell me she had better uniforms and instruction in the elite leagues outside school. A basketball player showed me a trophy case that his dad made him. It was loaded and he had no scholarship to college.
The biggest complaint of most kids is that they missed having fun in the summers and that their school teams were a big let down because they weren't fun. I could write and fill a book with the horror stories but it's useless. Two NFL players told me they would never let their sons play football until they were in high school if they so desired and physically able.
One kid on a state champion baseball club told me the best fun he ever had in the game was on a sandlot game in the summer at the local high school with a bunch of his friends. Games started at noon and went until it got dark and they all went to Frisch's afterwards.

[xu82]

I played organized sports growing up, but most often it was just the guys at the field doing our own thing having a blast. Things changed... by the time my kids were 8 they had played more games with referees and uniforms than I did my whole life. It was non-stop. We were part of the problem enabling this, but you can no longer let your kids disappear on their bikes and come back at sundown in many places. And they have nowhere to go if you let them - the schools have fenced and locked their fields for liability and vandalism reasons. The leagues were our only real option, and the kids were into it. When they got bored with tennis or soccer, we moved on to something else to blow cash on. Golf lessons anyone? Mix in some piano or Odyssey of the Mind. The one thing we regret the most is not making them have some type of job. Learning how to hold a job and where those dollars come from might have prepared them better and given them more appreciation for their blessings.

[xu82]

That karate stuff can be a real racket! We took our kid to a few classes. One day he comes home all excited. Thrilled! Giddy even! He got invited to join the Black Belt Club!!! That will be $800, thank you very much. Hard to tell the kid he's not a Super Hero, its just a scam.