Man arrested after stabbing watermelon

[X Factor]

Pretty sure this guy graduated from UD.

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Thomaston-Man-Arrested-After-Stabbing-Watermelon-Cops-267183461.html


A 49-year-old Connecticut man has been charged with threatening after his wife told police he stabbed and carved a watermelon in a passive-aggressive manner.

1467

[bobbiemcgee]

Damn. Never knew you could get nabbed for "fruit abuse". He'll be sent to the Blueberry Hill rehab facility.

[PMI]

Pretty sure this guy graduated from UD.

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Thomaston-Man-Arrested-After-Stabbing-Watermelon-Cops-267183461.html



1467

If he were from dayton, he'd have been arrested for murdering his mistress in front of his wife. Let that one sink in...

[Pablo's Brother]

So, I guess you could be charged with stabbing a watermelon in an "agressive" manner as well?

[nuts4xu]

So, I guess you could be charged with stabbing a watermelon in an "agressive" manner as well?

If so, Sean Finn and Keith Watermelonhumperski should lay low in a safe house somewhere for a while. Not sure about the statute of limitations, but it has to be close to expiring on their crimes of passion.

[bobbiemcgee]

new flyer logo looks like ad for venereal diease:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BsSL_pSCMAAP9Ly.jpg:large

maybe Kavs designed it.

[sweet16]

If so, Sean Finn and Keith Watermelonhumperski should lay low in a safe house somewhere for a while. Not sure about the statute of limitations, but it has to be close to expiring on their crimes of passion.

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

[Tardy Turtle]

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/e9/e90d78d2cda33349833b34df23819671ea87c5835a2b08ffb1 65573d444fbaf9.jpg

[GoMuskies]

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

I had no idea watermelons were grown in Cincinnati. Interesting.

[PMI]

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

Hear she is firm and curvy. And seedless. Yummy.

[XU 87]

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

Mr. Red Dots, have you ever wondered why you have all those red dots?

[Smails]

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

Does she go into convulsions everytime she sees David West on TV? I know for a fact that Keith soils his undies and forgets who he is at the mere mention of DFW.

[nuts4xu]

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

Stay with me here, this is a long running joke that has stood the test of time. Any thread that has the word "watermelon" in its title, will likely involve shots taken at the dayton program and the people involved in that sinful act so many years ago. You may want to avoid these threads, because all they will discuss is trailer park humor.

Your ilk is better off talking about your successful terms as Douche of the Month, or the next costume you will wear while attending the next Xavier game in your expensive seats.

Classy....the most overused word in sports. Took you a while to come up with that zinger, didn't it?

[Kahns Krazy]

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

Here she is at a family reunion.

http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/food/files/2011/06/watermelon-patch-farmers-market.jpg

[GoMuskies]

Sometimes I enjoy the offseason more than the season itself around here.

[PMI]

I find it amusing that the "class card" always seems to be played by the biggest hypocrites. The only time I've been at a college basketball game that even remotely resembled a Philadelphia Eagles-level of classlessness towards me personally, was a Xavier game at the dump. I didn't talk much at all that day to be honest, although I did a lot of laughing and eye rolling. Now we have an old guy on here, playing the class card, who goes out of his way to make enemies on a message board within his own fan base. A guy who feels the need to make up for something or another by tireleslly attempting to convince everyone how upper class and affluent he is, even though his behavior here seems to be consistent with something quite the opposite. Assuming sweet16 is not just an act, I think I know his type. I grew up around a lot of that type. The guy with the new sticks at the country club who shanks his first hole tee shot and starts listing off a mile's worth of profanity-laced excuses for why he's not yet used to the clubs because they're too exclusive and special. The guy who acts condescending towards the service at the member's pub in attempt to get a laugh that doesn't turn out to be nearly as loud as he'd planned. I truly believe that, deep down inside, these types of people know and understand how big of tools they are, and they can feel that tension around others that can only be defined as the "we wish this guy would go away right now" vibe. It must be tough going through life as that guy, so he must just try and make the best of the situation by convincing himself that his money, which often times is exaggerated, outweighs all of the other things he's missing out on. And this guy never changes either. Every once in awhile you may see the sweeter, more human side, but push always comes back to shove soon after. This guy ends up unhappy at the end of the day I think. This guy loses.

[xeus]

Classy! Keith's wife is a wonderful young lady from a great Cincinnati family with deep Xavier roots and connections. Jeez, can't you go more than a couple of days without doing or saying something to perpetuate that trailer park heritage?

And I hear they are proud new parents!

1469

[LadyMuskie]

Classy....the most overused word in sports.

Absolutely true!

[X-band '01]

Your ilk is better off talking about your successful terms as Douche of the Month, or the next costume you will wear while attending the next Xavier game in your expensive seats.

Classy....the most overused word in sports. Took you a while to come up with that zinger, didn't it?

Jocksniffer.

[sweet16]

I find it amusing that the "class card" always seems to be played by the biggest hypocrites. The only time I've been at a college basketball game that even remotely resembled a Philadelphia Eagles-level of classlessness towards me personally, was a Xavier game at the dump. I didn't talk much at all that day to be honest, although I did a lot of laughing and eye rolling. Now we have an old guy on here, playing the class card, who goes out of his way to make enemies on a message board within his own fan base. A guy who feels the need to make up for something or another by tireleslly attempting to convince everyone how upper class and affluent he is, even though his behavior here seems to be consistent with something quite the opposite. Assuming sweet16 is not just an act, I think I know his type. I grew up around a lot of that type. The guy with the new sticks at the country club who shanks his first hole tee shot and starts listing off a mile's worth of profanity-laced excuses for why he's not yet used to the clubs because they're too exclusive and special. The guy who acts condescending towards the service at the member's pub in attempt to get a laugh that doesn't turn out to be nearly as loud as he'd planned. I truly believe that, deep down inside, these types of people know and understand how big of tools they are, and they can feel that tension around others that can only be defined as the "we wish this guy would go away right now" vibe. It must be tough going through life as that guy, so he must just try and make the best of the situation by convincing himself that his money, which often times is exaggerated, outweighs all of the other things he's missing out on. And this guy never changes either. Every once in awhile you may see the sweeter, more human side, but push always comes back to shove soon after. This guy ends up unhappy at the end of the day I think. This guy loses.

So, you're implying that because some people picked on you at a college basketball game that justifies making libelous remarks about a young man who, #1) was not involved in the aforementioned activity and #2) has a wife and in-laws that are friends and/or classmates of people on this board. Son, the more you write the dumber you look and unfortunately (for you) you're the most verbose person on this board.

[sweet16]

Mr. Red Dots, have you ever wondered why you have all those red dots?

Not really, but you seem to be fascinated with it. Why don't you explain to me what those dots mean to you?

[nuts4xu]

that justifies making libelous remarks about a young man who, #1) was not involved in the aforementioned activity and #2) has a wife and in-laws that are friends and/or classmates of people on this board.

Young man? Dude is almost 30 by now.

And how do you know he wasn't involved in the aforementioned activity? Were you there porking the melon with Sean Finn?

His wife is probably a lovely lady, but she married a guy that has a known history of fornicating with ripe fruit. That is not my problem, that is her cross to bear.

[RealDeal]

And how do you know he wasn't involved in the aforementioned activity? Were you there porking the melon with Sean Finn?



Someone had to be holding the camera.

[xeus]

Not really, but you seem to be fascinated with it. Why don't you explain to me what those dots mean to you?

The red ones are called "douche dots".

[X-band '01]

So, you're implying that because some people picked on you at a college basketball game that justifies making libelous remarks about a young man who, #1) was not involved in the aforementioned activity and #2) has a wife and in-laws that are friends and/or classmates of people on this board. Son, the more you write the dumber you look and unfortunately (for you) you're the most verbose person on this board.

You're confusing libel with satire. Do you ever go to The Onion and just assume that most if not all of their articles would be libel to some degree?

As for your second point, the sweet irony is that YOU brought his family into this thread. As silly and old as the watermelon jokes may be, your complaining about it is only going to make things worse.

[xu82]

As for your second point, the sweet irony is that YOU brought his family into this thread. As silly and old as the watermelon jokes may be, your complaining about it is only going to make things worse.

Some people just have a gift.

[GoMuskies]

You're confusing libel with satire.

Do you think that poor melon thought it was satire when it was being humped to death?

[Kahns Krazy]

I'm not sure I get the argument that since a public figure that was widely hated when he was an opposing player married a girl that someone may or may not know suddenly changes his status on this board. I know George Bush's wife's family. Does that make any anti-Bush comments on this board somehow off limits?

[sweet16]

I'm not sure I get the argument that since a public figure that was widely hated when he was an opposing player married a girl that someone may or may not know suddenly changes his status on this board. I know George Bush's wife's family. Does that make any anti-Bush comments on this board somehow off limits?

I'm not surprised you don't get it. You may want to stick with the restaurant reviews as this may be above your pay grade.

[sweet16]

Someone had to be holding the camera.

Oh now look who weighs in. This coward made a derogatory remark about my father a week after he passed away. I sent him numerous PM's asking if he would like to get together to discuss. The pussy never responded to any of them.

[paulxu]

I'm not sure I get the argument that since a public figure that was widely hated when he was an opposing player married a girl that someone may or may not know suddenly changes his status on this board.

It certainly didn't work out for Chris Mack on the dayton board.
In fact, they started hating on Christi.

[BMoreX]

Btw, I think their new logo is absolute garbage.

[LadyMuskie]

Btw, I think their new logo is absolute garbage.

Hey now! They're counting on that garbage to be a "success factor" for their program. Think of all the success stories in history that surround logo changes. They're countless! Just because it resembles some sort of second rate rental car company logo or maybe some sort of motor oil logo, doesn't mean it won't help usher in a new era of success at the dump.

[X-band '01]

On my Facebook feed, I'm seeing lots of "We are VD" comments in regards to the new logo.

[RealDeal]

Oh now look who weighs in. This coward made a derogatory remark about my father a week after he passed away. I sent him numerous PM's asking if he would like to get together to discuss. The pussy never responded to any of them.

Never said a word about your father, said you are a douchebag, I reaffirm that now. Sorry about the sad state of your existence.

[Smails]

Oh now look who weighs in. This coward made a derogatory remark about my father a week after he passed away. I sent him numerous PM's asking if he would like to get together to discuss. The pussy never responded to any of them.

This is not a classy post

[bobbiemcgee]

Btw, I think their new logo is absolute garbage.

One writer described their jersey's as a "pillowcase with 3 holes."

[BandAid]

One writer described their jersey's as a "pillowcase with 3 holes."

I actually like the uniforms, but yes, the logo looks like it belongs to an airline. Maybe that's the look they were going for?

[kyxu]

One writer described their jersey's as a "pillowcase with 3 holes."

The current uniforms, yes. One of the worst I've ever seen. Looked like Richmond's ill-fitting unis from the early 2000s...or Xavier's from 2000.

I really like UD's new uniforms, however. The lousy new logo is not very prominent on it, either.

EDIT: Just realized the uniform design is identical to that of Ohio State.

[muskienick]

Actually, the new Dayton 'D' reminded me of Duquesne's 'D' for some reason.

[PMI]

So, you're implying that because some people picked on you at a college basketball game that justifies making libelous remarks about a young man who, #1) was not involved in the aforementioned activity and #2) has a wife and in-laws that are friends and/or classmates of people on this board. Son, the more you write the dumber you look and unfortunately (for you) you're the most verbose person on this board.

Actually, I'm implying that because a large amount of people went overboard in giving me shit at a basketball game (which I lost not a second of sleep over FWIW), they probably aren't justified in playing the class card every time they get the chance. I made the comparison because you, a poster with a long history of being a petulant douche on this board, attempted to play that very card yourself even though you exude whatever the opposite of class is routinely. By your logic, the dayton player should be immune to being harmlessly ragged on on the internet because he married a good, wholesome Cincinnati girl. Kahn's example is perfect. I also have good friends who are part of the Bush family. I literally just got back from one of their funerals minutes ago, unfortunately. I have relatives in politics whose names everyone knows, and who get destroyed on this board among every other public forum. You will never see me getting defensive over it on the internet because, frankly, it is what it is, and certain shit comes with the territory. A dayton basketball player who fucks watermelons is going to get some guff on a Xavier board. Just the way it is. I'm sorry you feel the need to take on the responsibility of coming to the defense of the butt of the joke here, but get over yourself. You took on that brunt of the argument because you know that you are who I described you as. I know it based not only on your posts here, but also on your demented PMs to me in the past. I won't pretend to have the displeasure of knowing you personally, but based on every way you've presented yourself anonymously through this board, you are a miserable person who should be pitied. If you'd like that in person meeting to prove otherwise, I'll be there with bells on, if for nothing else, out of sheer curiosity. First round is on me.

[XU 87]

Not really, but you seem to be fascinated with it. Why don't you explain to me what those dots mean to you?

You are now dead last on the reputation score board. What that means is you are the least respected and most disliked person on this board. LH is more respected than you.

Other than making a fool of yourself, I don't know why you continue to post here.

[Muskie]

Finally we've sawed off the branch we're standing on... closed.