Fred Garvin 2.0
03-03-2011, 01:22 AM
Back from Elba. Tho it is pretty this time of the year. Anyway, The Prodigal Poster has returned after being banished by the tyrant that is Xeus Mubarak. A year at the gulag archipelago and I met several dissidents from Xavier Hoopdom.
Well, we didn't really meet so much as tap messages on our cell walls. Btw, Timeless says hi. I also saw Helen, the victim of a rigorous waterboarding campaign. Still she found time to complain about her inadequate dental work. That woman is a heroine.
I wouldn't be here today if not for those heroic freedom fighters, many inspired by Snipe's words on Facebook, who were determined to let freedom reign. Still don't know why they were babbling about "King Kenny."
All of us in captivity lamented how you people let Xeus Strongman have the run of the place. We were especially disappointed in conservatives like 87. Men who practice a brand of realpolitik that prizes stability over democracy. Isn't it time we depose this dictator and end this repressive regime?
I didn't ask for this. I was enjoying my year sabbatical. I was living my Golf in the Kingdom dream. It began with six months at the ashram to be followed by golf at St.Andrews.
It was at the ashram where I had several epiphanies. I thought the yogi was speaking to me til I realized it was a higher voice. The voice said " the most important thing in life is to own an authentic pair of Xavier Nike basketball shorts." I asked the voice if I should follow the prophet Drudy and he replied, "are you kidding, did you see what he said about McClean early in the year."
Then the seer said that Xavier would win 5 consecutive A10 titles and go to 10 our of 11 NCAA tournaments, but, he qualified, "only if you ignore that idiot MHettel and remain in the A10."
Finally, and most improbably, he told me The Cincinnati Reds would return to the postseason for the first time since 1995 under the stewardship of one Dusty Baker. To this he added, "that Billy can really call'em."
It was with these truths that I headed to the St.Andrews Old Course. Kahn's Krazy would not be there since he still maintains he'd rather play Devou Park than any links course. But I digress.
I was looking for my ball in the gorse and heather when I received several startling phone calls telling me Xeus had declared board martial law. Many were pleading I return stateside. I declined fearing I'd be seen as an Arisistide or an Ayatollah.
As i approached the pot bunker on the 13th a band of Xeus' secret police stormed over the hill and abducted and hooded me. These folks made the Mossad look gentle.
My year in captivity wasn't all bad. Early on Jimmy Carter came to negotiate my release. It didn't work, Xeus just dug in his heels. Carter was determined to get something done. And he did as he ended up certifying several of Xeus' rigged elections.
My long nightmare came to an end, not, as the rumors suggest, by and October Surprise agreement, but do to the covert efforts of Delta Force. They were led by American X, the bastard son of Timeless, himself an Airborne man. They descended from high with their halo parachutes and black hawk cover. Those nightstalkers came in hard and fast. Those boys really do own the night.
So now you have to deal with me again.
Well, we didn't really meet so much as tap messages on our cell walls. Btw, Timeless says hi. I also saw Helen, the victim of a rigorous waterboarding campaign. Still she found time to complain about her inadequate dental work. That woman is a heroine.
I wouldn't be here today if not for those heroic freedom fighters, many inspired by Snipe's words on Facebook, who were determined to let freedom reign. Still don't know why they were babbling about "King Kenny."
All of us in captivity lamented how you people let Xeus Strongman have the run of the place. We were especially disappointed in conservatives like 87. Men who practice a brand of realpolitik that prizes stability over democracy. Isn't it time we depose this dictator and end this repressive regime?
I didn't ask for this. I was enjoying my year sabbatical. I was living my Golf in the Kingdom dream. It began with six months at the ashram to be followed by golf at St.Andrews.
It was at the ashram where I had several epiphanies. I thought the yogi was speaking to me til I realized it was a higher voice. The voice said " the most important thing in life is to own an authentic pair of Xavier Nike basketball shorts." I asked the voice if I should follow the prophet Drudy and he replied, "are you kidding, did you see what he said about McClean early in the year."
Then the seer said that Xavier would win 5 consecutive A10 titles and go to 10 our of 11 NCAA tournaments, but, he qualified, "only if you ignore that idiot MHettel and remain in the A10."
Finally, and most improbably, he told me The Cincinnati Reds would return to the postseason for the first time since 1995 under the stewardship of one Dusty Baker. To this he added, "that Billy can really call'em."
It was with these truths that I headed to the St.Andrews Old Course. Kahn's Krazy would not be there since he still maintains he'd rather play Devou Park than any links course. But I digress.
I was looking for my ball in the gorse and heather when I received several startling phone calls telling me Xeus had declared board martial law. Many were pleading I return stateside. I declined fearing I'd be seen as an Arisistide or an Ayatollah.
As i approached the pot bunker on the 13th a band of Xeus' secret police stormed over the hill and abducted and hooded me. These folks made the Mossad look gentle.
My year in captivity wasn't all bad. Early on Jimmy Carter came to negotiate my release. It didn't work, Xeus just dug in his heels. Carter was determined to get something done. And he did as he ended up certifying several of Xeus' rigged elections.
My long nightmare came to an end, not, as the rumors suggest, by and October Surprise agreement, but do to the covert efforts of Delta Force. They were led by American X, the bastard son of Timeless, himself an Airborne man. They descended from high with their halo parachutes and black hawk cover. Those nightstalkers came in hard and fast. Those boys really do own the night.
So now you have to deal with me again.